My Feature Dancing Debut
I'm standing back stage wearing my plastic candy-covered costume for the first time. My mini top hat is nearly falling off my head, my boots feel a touch too high, and my heart is thumping heavy against the inside of my chest. The DJ asks the room if they're ready for the pornstar and my knees start to tremble, I'm not even sure if I can keep my balance in these shoes. But it's happening. We're here in Sacramento and in mere seconds, I'm stepping onto that stage whether I'm ready or not. I hear the familiar clap of my opening song, Lollipop by the Chordettes, and I make my way up the stairs.
Thank God, there's hardly anyone in the room to see me fall on my face if I misstep. And at the same time, I'm sweating because I don't know if anyone is going to come up to tip me. I skip out to the music anyway, unicorn lollipop in hand, and lock eyes with a man sitting one row back. The rest of the song, I'm honed in on him, shaking my hips to the music and flirting. He rises out of his seat, makes his way to the stage and plops down in an empty chair. I'm flooded with relief that somebody is enjoying my show, and like magic, the nerves fade into the background. It's just me and him and some of my favorite songs.
I made $42 on my very first stage performance and I was ecstatic. Sure, it may not be the most that any pornstar has ever made on stage, but when I walked out there, I wasn't certain I would even make a single dollar. When I stepped off that stage, there was no longer a knot in my stomach threatening to put me on the ground. I was standing firmly in my sky high heels and I was finally calm after days of anticipation of getting out on that stage. The rest of my trip wasn't just a breeze, it was a BLAST. There were a few minor hiccups: my fire didn't light on Friday night in front of a fairly large crowd, that was disappointing (yes, I light myself on fire during my firefighter show); I was running late for one of my stage shows and the DJ had to stall for me, not too big of a deal; I smacked my forehead on the stage while I was gearing up to do a headstand in someone's lap; I rolled my ankle in my black boots and nearly fell off the pole, but saved myself at the last minute. But none of those things mattered in comparison to the absolute rush I felt at the end of a good show. Not once, not twice, but three times I skipped up to my greenroom, delirious with joy after stepping off stage.
When the crowd is really there with you, you feel it. You've got their attention, the energy is palpable, and the adrenaline high is the kind you feel after your first time kissing someone you've had a crush on forever. And the meet and greets? Oh man, were those fun! I thought I was going to be a nervous wreck doing VIP dances, since it's only been on very rare occasion that I have gotten intimate with fans. They don't give you the same rush as being on stage, but the reward is double. I got to really know some of these people as we talked while I sat on their lap, gyrating my hips. I thought I'd become a puddle if anyone touched me, but I actually really enjoyed it. For those few minutes, I was everything to them. Not to mention how sweet the clients were, and vocal about how much the enjoyed my stage performances., which was a HUGE ego boost. (I can't help it, I love attention!) The connection I got to experience was unreal and completely changed the way I look at strip clubs and their attendees, so much for the better.
Leaving Sacramento was bittersweet. I was exhausted, sore, and bruised. And yet still had a hunger to get back up on stage and dance my little heart out. Now that I am home, and my bruises are fading with every application of Arnica, I can't wait to get back out on stage. I have no idea what city I may travel to next, but I know that no matter where I go, I'm guaranteed to perform for someone who has never seen me up on stage before. And that's the best part for me, because each one of my shows has a little surprise to entertain my crowd. The excitement that radiates from them is electric and I know I'll be chasing that performance high for many months, and hopefully years, to come.
Thanks for reading about my stage debut! If you'd like to see me on a stage near you, please do request me at your local clubs! Especially because I am new to the scene and they don't know what to expect from my shows, it would be a great deal of help for them to know that I'm out here and that people want to see me. Thanks in advance and I hope I get to dance for you soon!